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  1. Jon Snow: "In a sense, Deng Xiaoping's death was inevitable, wasn't it?"
    Expert: "Er, yes."
    (Channel 4 News)

  2. "As Phil De Glanville said, each game is unique, and this one is no different to any other."
    (John Sleightholme - BBC1)

  3. "If England are going to win this match, they're going to have to score a goal."
    (Jimmy Hill - BBC)

  4. "Beethoven, Kurtag, Charles Ives, Debussy - four very different names."
    (Presenter, BBC Proms, Radio 3)

  5. "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
    (Metro Radio Sports Commentary)

  6. Listener: "My most embarrassing moment was when my artificial leg fell off at the altar on my wedding day."
    Simon Fanshawe: "How awful! Do you still have an artificial leg?"
    (Talk Radio)

  7. Interviewer: "So did you see which train crashed into which train first?"
    15-year-old: "No, they both ran into each other at the same time."
    (BBC Radio 4)

  8. Presenter (to palaeontologist): "So what would happen if you mated the woolly mammoth with, say, an elephant?"
    Expert: "Well in the same way that a horse and a donkey produce a mule, we'd get a sort of half-mammoth.
    Presenter: "So it'd be like some sort of hairy gorilla?"
    Expert: "Er, well yes, but elephant shaped, and with tusks."

  9. Kilroy-Silk: "Did you mean to get pregnant?"
    Girl: "No. It was a cock-up."

  10. Grand National winning jockey Mick Fitzgerald: "Sex is an anti-climax after that!"
    Desmond Lynam: "Well, you gave the horse a wonderful ride, everyone saw that."

- Anon

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